It’s Been a LONG Time

I think at the end of every single time I’ve posted each post so far, I say I’ll write more often and then it ends up just being longer and longer between each post every time. It’s been a crazy (but good) ride, and I can’t believe it’s actually been as long as it’s been. Everything really has been good, despite everything happening in the world right now. Maybe not the MOST ideal time to be pregnant, but it’s all going well regardless. I’m super grateful to be healthy and that all is going, and has gone, completely perfectly.

I am officially in the third trimester. I skipped an entire 1/3rd of the pregnancy, I’m sorry! For you guys, and for myself. I really had every intention of being really on top of this blog as a way to document this entire journey. I’m going to try and go back and write about some of the things that have happened. No huge events, luckily, but I still meant for this to be a much better representation and documentation of this amazing time. From 10 weeks at the announcement to just over 30 weeks today, I guess it’s actually been 1/2 of the pregnancy that I’ve been M.I.A.

So, starting back where we left off, I had to find a new OBGYN for this pregnancy. Luckily, first time was the charm and we found an amazing OB who I love and have had nothing but good experiences with. I’m super grateful for that, because it would have sucked to either keep switching doctors or not enjoy who my doctor was for all of this. She has worked, and is currently working with other surrogates and she’s been nothing but wonderful. Both of the baby’s parents and myself looked into a couple of different options that were recommended to me, and we settled on the right one. It’s been a good experience and I plan to keep her as my doctor in general, and definitely if I do another surrogacy journey.

I was also able to take a trip back to Utah with Mailee and the kids to visit family and friends before everything got crazy with Covid-19, which was good. I’m glad we got to do that! We were a little bit worried for a while that we wouldn’t make it back, because just a couple of days after we got to Utah is when everything with Covid blew up, but everything ended up going great and we stayed our week there and came back with no issues. We also moved into a rental house from our apartment a couple of weeks after we got back from our trip and that’s been SUCH a positive change for our family as well. Having a backyard and more indoor room, with having to be inside and at home a lot more, has probably saved us in more ways than one.

My plan is to come back and update on a lot more very soon. I have pictures of myself as I’ve grown and probably a lot more to talk about. I followed my usual pattern during pregnancy, and I didn’t show very much for quite some time, but now I’m getting much more pregnant very quickly. I feel huge, but in reality I know I’m actually not. I mostly wear my regular clothes still, except jeans or my tighter fitting leggings and things like that. Those are too uncomfortable now. I was working out regularly, multiple times per week, until Covid hit and now my workout group doesn’t meet anymore. I have started a new program recently to try and finish out this pregnancy a little stronger than I probably would if I didn’t do anything the rest of the time. So that’s been really good for me!

Anyways, I’ll be back soon to write more! If all goes to plan, I’ll hopefully be writing pretty often until I have the baby. We really only have a few more weeks left, so if I want to write about everything I want to write about, it’s got to be pretty often. And my future posts will probably be a lot more organized than this one. I just jumped on tonight and didn’t plan it ahead of time, which was probably not the best idea, but here we are. At least it got a post to actually be written and done, right? 🙂

Announcement Time!….

Alright, I’m back! And it’s finally, FINALLY announcement time! Little does everyone know just how long I’ve actually been waiting for this. I love and appreciate you all for sticking through this with me!

After transfer, they do what’s called Beta tests. I had to go for two, one at 9 days post transfer and a second at 12 days post transfer. What these tests are looking for are the hormone Hcg in my system, which your body produces when you’re pregnant. They also checked my estrogen and progesterone levels one last time to make sure they were at a level that would sustain said pregnancy.

The tests were ordered to be same day. Unfortunately, the lab messed up so we had a longer wait for the results to the first test. It was of course done on a Friday, so although the results did get sent to my clinic on Saturday, no one was in the office. We ended up receiving them Monday morning, and the second test Monday afternoon.

My IPs wanted to wait until the Beta test to know the results. I told myself I wouldn’t be that girl testing super soon after transfer, but guess what I turned immediately into? Haha. There I was beginning my testing at 3.5 days post transfer. Once the Beta results were late, though, my IPs messaged me and asked me to test at home so they didn’t have to wait through the weekend, which I was hoping they would do all along if we’re being honest here. It was so hard not to share every little thing with them for those days!

Well, it’s officially official. The results came in and… I AM PREGNANT!! ❤️ I’m so incredibly happy for my IPs and so blessed to be able to grow this little miracle for them.

Coming July 2020. My IPs will officially be a party of 3!

Announcing publicly makes everything feel so much more real! It has been a VERY long time coming! During the contract phase, I agreed to wait until I had at least been officially released from the clinic to my OBGYN to announce anything. As I’m sure anyone knows, early pregnancy carries a high risk of miscarriage, or other issues like a chemical pregnancy. I agreed to wait until I was out of that higher risk window, which is probably a good idea. I graduated from the clinic last week officially and had my first appointment with my own OBGYN this week, so the time has come!

Today, I am actually 12 weeks pregnant. I have been so behind on my blog, partially because I knew I needed to be and partially because life happens and I’ve been SO busy. After transfer, I wasn’t able to lift anything 20+ lbs for 12 days until after my second Bets test. I am so blessed to have good friends here (and an older daughter) that we’re so helpful and supportive during this time. April and Miriel literally saved my life! One of them was with me every single day from the time Mailee left for work until Salem’s bedtime. I’m sure it was some long days for them but I so appreciate them and their help!

I have loved this journey so far. I’m officially also off my injection medications. I was able to stop those at 10 weeks and that has been SUCH a nice and welcome change. I have been feeling sick for the past few weeks which has really kicked my butt some days. Morning sickness is a joke, it’s definitely all day long. In fact, my sickness typically starts off very low or not there in the morning and progressively gets worse throughout the day. I am taking Unisom at night to help combat it and most days it does the job pretty well! The past few days I’ve actually felt great unless I don’t eat for too long. Then it’s a nightmare haha.

All of it has been more than worth it, though! Sweet little surrobabe is growing perfectly and everything has been great. At our last ultrasound with the clinic the baby was in there bouncing, stretching and so active. It was really cool to have so many early ultrasounds. There was SO much significant change every two weeks that I went in, it was truly amazing to watch. Time has been flying by and I’m so excited that this journey is underway. Thanks for the support everyone!

Time to Talk About Transfer!!

Alright, we are finally getting caught up and to the best stuff! I meant to write this post a little closer to Christmas but we got busy for the holidays and am just now getting to it. But this will be the best one yet! So exciting.

So a couple of weeks prior to transfer I was a bit stressed out. I thought I had arranged two possible friends to go with me, but both had things come up and they could no longer travel the week I was scheduled. And once I had started meds my transfer date wasn’t exactly negotiable, but they did want me traveling with someone if at all possible and not going alone. It was a 3-day trip to L.A. and I’m so glad I had the epiphany to ask my new friend here in Texas, April. It took a bit of juggling and figuring out the details, but it all worked out perfectly! We left for California on Tuesday afternoon, with my transfer scheduled for the following day.

We got to California and after a long Uber ride to the other side of a busy city during traffic, we finally arrived at our awesome little Airbnb. It was so cozy and cute! We walked to a nearby sushi place, because that’s the one thing I new I had to had before transfer. It was amazing! Probably the best sushi I’ve had in years. We also had big plans for a glass of wine in the hot tub lit back when we got back. Those plans didn’t actually work out so well. In the famous words of April, it ended up being “the lukewarm tub of disappointment.” My favorite description EVER. We tried to stick it out for maybe 30 minutes hoping it would warm up and get better, but it was pretty awful and we had to just cut our losses after so long.

So much hope, such a sad outcome. Lol. But at least we had fun.

We ended up chilling in the rental and watching Riverdale, which ended up being perfect anyways! I ended up LOVING the show and basically binging it on Netflix after we got home haha. It was a great distraction for a few weeks! So, fast forward to Wednesday. I was pretty exhausted because I could NOT sleep at all. I was too nervous and excited for transfer. We didn’t have to be at the clinic until 1 pm, which was perfect because it gave me time to do ALL the old wives tales before we went. They say if you eat pineapple, wear fuzzy socks, drink pomegranate juice, eat Brazilian nuts and eat French fries (after) on the day of transfer, it’s supposed to increase the likelihood your body will succeed and accept the transfer. I know it’s all woo, but hey, it’s fun sometimes to do superstitious things! So that we did.

We went and got smoothies for breakfast and I made sure mine had pineapple. We went fairly far to Target and I hunted down a TINY pack of trail mix that I finally found that included Brazil nuts. I literally looked through their entire nut section for at least 20-30 minutes. Thank god April was patient and still loves me lol. We finished there just in time to hurry back to the Airbnb so I could give myself my PIO shot before heading to transfer. It was a busy morning.

On the ride to the clinic and while we were waiting I swear my heart was beating out of my chest. I was so ready but also just excited and nervous. I had to do some paperwork and then we waited for quite a while because I needed a full bladder and definitely didn’t have one. I drank a ton and we waited. It ended up being perfect because I was able to charge my phone so I could video call with my IPs for the whole process. They finally called me back, went over the procedure and I got changed and was waiting for my doctor to get ready and come back. I met my whole awesome team while there and it was so exciting for me! I’ve been talking to these nurses and the doctor for months at this point and felt like I already knew them!

I don’t look as nervous as I felt I don’t think. Haha. I had to wear a shirt with pineapples for good luck, too!

The whole transfer process, the actual transfer, only takes a few seconds. It’s not even painful or uncomfortable at all. It felt like it was over SO quickly. After so long and so much leading up to it, it all came down to that quick, few second process. And just like that, it was over. We transferred one perfect little embryo and after, it’s just lots of hope. I knew I had done EVERYTHING right up to that point. All signs my body was showing was that I was ready. But it’s not uncommon for transfers to fail. So there’s always uncertainty and I was a bit worried, but knew there was nothing I could do. I just had to trust my body and trust the process and know that it would be okay either way. So, that’s what I decided to do!

Loving the LA weather!! Having some kid-free fun.

My baby POM juice bottle with all the gorgeous flowers 🌸 blooming.

I do NOT eat McDonald’s French fries (the technically aren’t vegetarian) but I made an exception just this once, cuz you know, wives tales.

That’s about all for my adventure to L.A. I had never been to that part of the city before and we had a good time exploring and trying new places. We found some awesome restaurants and stores and had a great time. We even went thrift shopping the morning before we flew back to Houston! It was truly a great experience all around and I’m so glad everything worked out the way it did. April is my best friend here and this definitely brought us closer. I feel so blessed to finally be on this journey. I feel like I’ve waited a lifetime and finally, here we are. It’s so amazing to know I’m doing this and accomplishing a true, lifelong goal and dream of mine. Til next time!

Getting Ready for Transfer

I thought it had only been about 3 weeks since I updated this blog, but time is flying. With the holidays upon us, I guess I’ve been slacking! I even set a reminder in my phone to remind me to update every few weeks, but it didn’t ever remind me. #fail

In better news, I am officially getting ready for my first transfer. This means I’m going to be on different medications, go to monitoring appointments, and get ready to head out to California to go to the clinic and actually get the transfer done. So much, so fast, but so awesome. I feel like so much has been leading up to this!

I’ve been on my meds for a while now. I take a daily prenatal vitamin and baby aspirin, and I also do injections. The injections will continue until 10 weeks of pregnancy. I start off with Estradiol Valerate, which is the synthetic injectable form of estrogen. All the injectable medications are in oil, but to be honest I’m not totally sure what kind of oil. I haven’t had any negative reactions so we haven’t had to change anything up.

Anyways, the Estradiol is set to be done twice a week. I do my injections on Mondays and Thursdays. They aren’t bad at all. It’s only 2 CC’s each time, which really feels like nothing. They are given intramuscularly in the muscle on my hip, and I give them to myself. I actually did a video of my first one explaining everything, which I will also post. I’m no professional on-camera girl, so forgive me in advance.

Both Skyla and Mailee love watching me give myself shots. It’s pretty funny. They both hate shots and needles so it’s crazy to them. It’s definitely more mental that physical. I know other surrogates who CANNOT give themself shots, but I really have no problem with it. I just don’t think about it, really. #justdoit

I have a calendar from the clinic to stay organized. Thank god for that, and my phone reminders I can set, or I probably wouldn’t remember anything, ever. The only side effect so far has been a worse memory (it already was very subpar thanks to new mom brain) and some days I’m SO tired. The exhaustion is real. I can only imagine how it will get worse once I’m actually pregnant, and still on medications. I remember the first trimester exhausting with Salem, too. Not the most fun, but of course, worth it!

The promised documentation of my first ever injection! I was pretty nervous, not gonna lie. Now it’s totally normal to me.

All in all, I feel pretty good and I’m excited to go forward! Luckily I found an awesome friend to go with me on my trip and Mailee will be able to take 3 days off to be home with the girls. We were debating whether to get a sitter for 3 days or what to do, but I felt better knowing Salem had her own home and bed and mom here with her. Even if I had to go alone to LA, I would choose that. But luckily it’s all getting figured out. I’m lucky I’ve made some really good friends here (finally).

My next update will be about transfer and how that went. I’ll update you all soon, probably sometime next week. This is when the fun starts!! I have gotten behind but I don’t want to get ahead of myself yet, either! Haha. For now I’m just focused on my kids, my family and doing everything I can for this transfer to go well. Following my schedule, going to my appointments, and everything else! I’ve already been to a couple of appointments, but I’ll save those for the next post. 💕

Where I’m At

I didn’t really know what to title this blog post so that’s what y’all get from me this time haha. Time is passing and everything is starting to happen! I have some pretty great IPs and they’ve been so awesome to us.

I got a surprise phone call a few days after we completed legal clearance. It was a woman asking if I would be home in the next hour for a delivery. I said yes so we ended the conversation there. I immediately texted my wife asking what she had been up to because I assumed she ordered something for me and it was coming. Funny enough, she HAD actually ordered something, but this wasn’t it.

About 10 minutes later, a delivery man knocks on my door holding one of the most BEAUTIFUL bouquets of flowers I’ve ever seen. They happened to be in some of my favorite colors and I love them so much. When the delivery man said, “I have a delivery for Anna and Mailee (he pronounced it May-lee of course), I immediately knew it had to be from my IPs. I just felt it.

And it was. With the sweetest note along with them. It affirmed to me that although we are far away, and we really don’t get to talk often because of schedules and time differences, they are so awesome and I’m just as lucky as they are to be in this process together. Here’s a picture of the amazing flowers, I don’t think any of the pictures I took do them justice, though.

They are pretty giant and so beautiful. 💐

The accompanying note read, “Dear Anna and Mailee, We can’t tell you how excited we are to begin this journey with you! XOXOXO”. It totally melted my heart to read those words. It really meant a lot to me. After so long we had waited for that part, so I’m glad they are just as excited and ready as I am.

We also had our very first video call as well. We had a phone conversation that they call a “match call” with them, their consultant and my own consultant, to confirm we had the same goals, wanted to be placed together and were clear and agreed on some very important things about this whole process. Anyways, clearly that first convo went well, because here we are.

The video call was SO nice. We had all seen photos of each other before matching, but of course it’s so different in real time. It was such a “real” experience and I couldn’t have asked for it to be better. Salem is a fabulous sleeper almost always but of course that night she kept waking up. She just wanted to be part of the fun! She had to say hi to them, too. It was pretty funny and cute. She was very sleepy.

It was a great couple of weeks. I’m so excited to continue this process and bring more updates! Next up is going to be a schedule and meds and all sorts of stuff. I don’t know how to end these blog posts any differently than always, by saying I’m so excited and ready for this process and what’s coming next!! I love it!

It’s Go Time!

Sooo… as always, it’s been a few weeks since my last post. Life just gets so busy! BUT this is the time we’ve all been waiting for!! Things are getting so real, and SO exciting really fast. I can’t believe I’m finally to this point.

Legal contracts are officially, well, official! They are signed by all and filed with the Texas court system. Now I can say that I AM a surrogate. I am! I love that. Maybe more than I should, but hey. Just as long as my IP’s have waited for this day, I have too. And I am so, so excited to be on this journey with them.

Not my actual contract (or hand, I am not 110% jaundice lol).

The next thing on the now much longer list of things to do was to get some baseline bloodwork done so that we knew where I was at. That would tell us when to have me stop taking my birth control pills and to start taking the IVF medications. I went and got that done, and amid issues, we will get it all figure out. I’m starting to feel like in this process there’s just a WHOLE LOT of bloodwork over and over again. I’m really glad I have no issues with needles or getting my blood taken. Unlike my wife, who (love her to death, but) most definitely could not handle this.

My ever growing picture of “proof” (as if I need it 😂) that I got my blood taken for something.

As I’m pretty happy for a long list of to do’s, though. All the waiting was actually nerve wracking, not relaxing in the least. Haha. So I’m glad things are on the move. It feels pretty surreal to be honest, but I’m sure as time goes on things will settle in and get more real very quickly.

As for what’s going on in life in general, just more of the same! It hasn’t been a full month for once and so I don’t have new monthly pictures of Salem to share. I’m just busy as ever, playing mom, wife and tia/auntie everyday. But I love it!

#surrogate #surrogacy #IVF #ips #ip #sureobabe #pregnancy #bloodwork #doctors #process #legal #contracts #gotime #love

#suI can now say I’m pretty positive I’ll be back before too long with more updates! Can’t wait!!

Almost Done with Legal

Wow, I didn’t realize it had almost been a full month since I written and updated! I swore I was going to be better about doing more updated after the last one, and yet, here I am again! It feels like a lot has happened in the last month. So, here we go!

I had an ultrasound at the beginning of this month, just to get a base check and make sure everything was good on the inside. They said everything looked great and that I was (surprise! Not lol) still very fertile based on my mature follicle count. I’ve always been quite fertile, so it’s good to know that hasn’t changed. And hopefully that will make getting a little embryo to stick super easy! 🙏🏼🤞🏼

I know I’m lame, but I like to take pictures and document even the little things that seem insignificant. Haha. I snapped this while I was waiting to get the ultrasound done!

After that, and being fully medically cleared, we started talking to our respective lawyers to get paperwork drafted. As always, it’s been a little bit of back and forth on that front but I’m hoping we can get everything finalized this week, which I just realized is actually today, so that I can get my calendar/schedule from the IVF clinic and start the IVF meds as soon as possible! I’ve been told by the clinic that it’s typically 3-4 weeks from starting medication to the transfer, so that will give us a good idea of when I’ll be heading to Los Angeles for the procedure.

All in all, it’s been a super productive month! I personally thought all the legal would be done by now, and I’d likely already be on the meds, but I think it just get excited and think things will always move faster than they do in reality! But I’m also a believer that things usually happen when and as they should, so I’m banking on that and just being ready for the ride whenever it does begin.

In the meantime, I’m still just trying to be a good mama (and tia/auntie) to my girls! My beautiful Salem girl is 7 months old now. I just don’t know where the time has gone! She’s got 8 teeth, some VERY blonde hair coming in and the sweetest personality that’s starting to show.

Salem the day she turned 7 months old, September 24th.

We also got family pictures done this month and they couldn’t have turned out better! I’m in love with them all, we even ended up just paying extra so we could get all of them. They were done by Kelley Harris with Dazzling Diva Photography in Conroe, TX. I couldn’t recommend her more highly! She’s an amazing person AND photographer. Double positive.

Those are just a sample of some of my favorites! They’re all beyond perfect. It was past time to do some really good family photos. I’ll write again when I have another update! Cross ALL your fingers for me that legal is all wrapped up very shortly and the IVF process gets going!

It’s Been a Busy Week!

This week has been the busiest and most exciting yet! I know I already talked about getting my lab work done on Monday, and on Tuesday I completed the online part of my psychological evaluation. So we will go from there!

Wednesday afternoon I was scheduled for the phone half of my psychological evaluation. I picked up Skyla from school and got home and just waited for them to call. The call was roughly 45 minutes long and it was about my entire life, my family, myself, my current life, and a whole bunch of other things I’m sure I’m not listing. At the end of the call, he told me he would have the written report done and back to the clinic by the end of the week. So I expected to probably not be contacted until next week to proceed, but to my (happy) surprise, I got notified this morning that the report was sent over and I was psychologically cleared to continue!

That was good news, because in the mean time I started my cycle yesterday, which for this purpose means that I had 3 days from the start to get on birth control if we wanted to get things started. Although we are technically still waiting for my lab results, we didn’t want to miss the window. Luckily everything else got done very quickly, and I just got home less than an hour ago from the pharmacy. Birth control is now on deck! I’m now taking Loestrin each day.

We also completed the call with my coordinator this week just to preemptively go over everything that will be written up to send over to the lawyers shortly. That call also went well. I’m so lucky to have her, she worked around Mailee’s work schedule for us so that Mailee could be on that call with us. Not that I couldn’t do it myself, but it’s always nice to have another voice and perspective, and I like to involve her as much as I can. We’re in this together, baby!

This week has made everything feel so much more REAL. I’m getting so excited, the slightest bit nervous, and I’m just ready for everything to come. I’m so happy it IS in fact finally getting started. So ready for this adventure!

Things Are Getting Going!!

I feel like this has been such a long time coming! The past few weeks have felt like a lot of waiting for something that wasn’t happening very quickly. But now, we are finally moving ahead. I got my final clearance on the end of the surrogacy clinic in L.A. after quite a few setbacks, what seemed like a million of them, and I have begun the rest of the clearance tasks.

Yesterday, I went and got all my lab work done. They took a urine sample and tons of blood vials. They were quick and efficient, though, and even with two kids in tow (Salem and my niece, Staci) it was pretty easy. I’m very hopeful they will have the results back to the clinic by the end of the week, even though the clinic said it could be 5-7 business days. So keep your fingers crossed for me on that end! I truly wouldn’t mind things to speed up just a bit from here on out haha.

I also completed the online portion of my psychological evaluation today, and I have the phone part of that interview/assessment tomorrow. I’m confident all will go well, so it will (again, hopefully) just be a few more days of a waiting after that before everything gets sent back to the clinic and I’m officially, 100% cleared to move forward.

I will also have a call with my consultant this week to go over all the contract components and such before they’re sent over to our lawyers for the actual legal drafting of contracts, and then we will be READY! I know my wonderful IP’s are hoping for a transfer in the not-too-distant future, so it will just be a matter of time before I’m here writing about starting medications. Which sounds so crazy and so exciting! I really feel like everything is coming together and it’s all going well!

Typing it all out, it doesn’t seem like a lot! But it has felt like it. I was back and forth daily between my OBGYN office and the surrogacy clinic trying so hard to get what everyone needed for this. It took time, but it did eventually pay off! For now, I’m just going to finish Jane the Virgin (amazing show on Netflix if you haven’t already seen it!) and wait out these last few days.

On the personal life front, Skyla started fourth grade last week! I cannot believe I have a fourth grader. It’s pretty crazy and exciting. She loves school so she is really happy to be back. Here are a couple of her first day of school pictures!

Cute lawn set up in front of the school.

Salem also turned 6 months at the end of last week! I can’t believe it. She had her well check up today, and shes growing so well and she’s so perfect. She is working on her 8th tooth and she rolls, sits and army crawls/tummy scoots to get to where she wants to go. I’m trying (all day every day, no big deal) to get her to say “mama”, but so far no luck.

Just my perfect little fairy girl. Two of my good friends handmade her outfit and it couldn’t be more amazing!

I guess that’s all for now! I’ll no doubt be back sooner than I have been in the past with more updates! ❤

Good News!

The results are in…… After a long few weeks, I finally got word from my OBGYN this week that my colposcopy results were relatively positive and no more follow-ups are needed for a year. I had the lowest possible level of precancerous cell change, and my body should be able to take care of it itself with no issues. This is basically the best outcome from the whole setback, so I’m really happy about it. She also confirmed that I’m cleared on her end and okay to go ahead with pregnancy, which was the best thing to hear. Hopefully, this means that next week the ball will quickly get rolling again!

The next two things on the list to get done will be a psychological evaluation and medical screening, which includes blood work and an ultrasound. Luckily, my IP’s IVF doctor in L.A. has found a clinic here in Houston that they are comfortable working with, and I will be able to complete the medical screening out here in stead of flying all the way out to California for it. So, that’s good news, too! The only time I will have to travel out there will be for the transfer(s).

I don’t have much more to update on at this point, at least not on the surrogacy front. Right now, I’m just working on staying healthy, happy, positive and ready to move forward. My baby girl Salem has been learning so much, so quickly, and growing too fast as usual. Skyla starts back at school very soon, so I need to get ready for that as well. My wife & I’s first wedding anniversary is officially tomorrow, and I’m excited to spend the day with her. Salem and I will be going to visit our family and friends in Utah later this month for almost a week, and Mailee will join us for the final two days of the trip. We are all super excited for that!

As I said earlier, hopefully next week will be the week and everything will get started moving forward! I’m still very excited to really get into the whole process. I know this past couple of months was a necessary part of the process, but it feels like it’s been pretty close to forever now and I’m more than ready! I’ll write again when I have another update. ❤